Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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