Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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