Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.