Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
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When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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