Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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