Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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Chuck Norris can watch music.
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Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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