Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
Karma believes in Chuck Norris.