Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
There was no Big Bang. Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.