Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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