Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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