Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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