Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.