When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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