Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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