Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Charles isn't in charge. Chuck is!
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.