Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Dreams about Chuck Norris are in 4D.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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