Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.