Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
How much white out does Chuck Norris use? Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.