The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.