Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Once an email was sent from LA to Washington.
Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
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