Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.