Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.