The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris is the real man inside of Chucky.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris round house kicked the xbox and made the xbox 360.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
Do you know why the Earth's spinning ? Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.