When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.