When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
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In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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