When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.