When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.