Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars. These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.
Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times. He used a parachute twice.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.