Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Chuck Norris is why we don't need no stinking badgers.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
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