Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
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Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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Allstate gets insurance from Chuck Norris, because even Allstate needs to be in good hands.
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
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