Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
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Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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Chuck Norris Doesn't breakdance.
He breaks dance
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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