Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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