Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
When batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris signal.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.