Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.