Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.