Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn...
Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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