Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"