Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
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Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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