Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.