Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris can power solar panels.
At Night.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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