Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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Suicide committed Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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