Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.