Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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