Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris has 12 moons.
One of those moons is the Earth.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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