Joke #2884

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
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Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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