Joke #11573

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.

I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.

Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!

Q: You know what would make America great again? A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.

Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like... Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?

What's a rabbits favorite musical? Hare.

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.

I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.

A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."

Knock knock. Who's there? Kenya. Kenya who? Keeeenya feeel the loooove tonight?

Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.