Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn't have the hare fare.
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Jesus won't come back again.
Why?
Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter?
A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan? ´
A: They're both famous for stuffing baskets!
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."