Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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