Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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