Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines. They have footprints.