When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
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Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun.
It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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