When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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