When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
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