Two programmers in a bar: Do you see that chick there? Look at here “properties”! Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Gmail: Someone has signed into your account! Me: Yeah that was me Gmail: No it was on another device! Me: Yes my tablet Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?! Me: What? No! Gmail: Call the police
Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
I provide technical support for the computer software published by my company. One day, over the phone, I was helping a customer install a product on a Macintosh. The procedure required him to delete an old file. On the Mac, there is an icon of a trash can that is used to collect items to be permanently deleted. I told the customer to click on the old file and drag it to the trash. Then I had him perform a few other steps. As a reminder, I said, "Don't forget to empty the trash." Obediently he replied, "Yes, dear."
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.