Joke #2529

Two programmers in a bar: Do you see that chick there? Look at here “properties”! Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!

What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? The car salesman can probably drive!

If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.

A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"

A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".

What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.

I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.

You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?

Which way did the programmer go? He went data way!

Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary? A: A major glitch!

Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.