Two programmers in a bar: Do you see that chick there? Look at here “properties”! Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
An artist, a lawyer, and a programmer are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce and bankruptcy. The programmer says, ‘It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife thinks I’m with my mistress. My mistress thinks I’m home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!’
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen? O2.zip
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error! Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from? Let Only Users Suffer.