Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
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There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
Vote:
Caller: Hey, can you help me? My computer has locked up, and no matter how many times
I type eleven, it won’t unfreeze.
Agent: What do you mean, “type eleven?”
Caller: The message on my screen says, “Error Type 11!”
Two programmers after work, talking in a pub:
"You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar."
- And what did you do ?
"I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her."
"Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?"
"I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop."
"Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. All of a sudden, the car broke down.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system."
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"
The Computer Engineer said, "I think we should all get out and get back in."
Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
Vote:
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.