Two programmers in a bar: Do you see that chick there? Look at here “properties”! Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen? O2.zip
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
Hide a seek champion... ; Since 1958
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data