Joke #14258

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "It's going to rain." His wife asked, "How do you know?" "Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you." "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." "Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." "Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny. "Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither'."

Elderly Man: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic." Priest: "I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war." Elderly Man: "I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed." Priest: "That's not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive." Elderly Man: "Should I tell him the war is over?"

Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.

They have traced the Gay Gene all the way back to the time of the Dinosaurs. They found two distinct species. They have named them Lickalotapus and Megasoreass.

[ancient greece] Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?" Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine." Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be." Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"

“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.

Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.

The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.

How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!

Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!