One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
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“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
[ancient greece]
Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?"
Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine."
Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be."
Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"
Q: Why do Americans like black candles?
A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
A: Madam, I'm Adam.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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