One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
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Elderly Man: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic."
Priest: "I do not see anything wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war."
Elderly Man: "I collected rent from him for every month that he stayed."
Priest: "That's not a good thing you did, but it was for a good cause. You helped him survive."
Elderly Man: "Should I tell him the war is over?"
To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code!
Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder?
He had a bee in his suit of armour!
Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?
Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.