Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris. The answer is always Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.