Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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