How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
High five!
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Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers?
In case they get a hole in one!
Q: What's the difference between a teabag and england?
A: The teabag stays in the cup longer!
A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the local Rugby match and Dad can't find the tickets.
Dad: "Nip home and see if I left the tickets there."
Bobby: "No probs, Dad."
Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium.
Bobby: "Yep, they're on the kitchen table where you left them."
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in London.
The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus.
The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is living it up having a great time, when one of them realises she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate.
When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's going on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!"
One of the Blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA
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Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
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Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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