How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
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Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
A: No Cubs
Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils.
One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field.
Julia approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said that she was.
Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself.
Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?'
The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion.
Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?'
'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen.
One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"
"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied.
"You haven’t touched me in months.
We’re going to talk about sex right now!"
"OK, OK.
So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"
Q: What's brown and very bad for your dental health?
A: A baseball bat.
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks for a ski slope.
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A: Pork Chop.
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