What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
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This could be considered the ideal world for many men:
His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties.
His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy.
A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
What does a man call true love?
An erection.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Vote:
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task?
A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Vote:
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.