What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous?"
The other replied, "You're darn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?"
To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue"
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?"
Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God.
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
