What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes.
When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?"
God responds, "You are what you are"
The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question.
One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes"
The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me.
Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
Vote:
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
Vote:
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to.
They landed in each other.
Who was wrong?
The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything.
It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days.
Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"