How do you call 5000 lawyers dead at the seashore?
A good start...
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To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice.
To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.
Q: What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
A young lawyer says to ones of his colleagues:
-A lawyer is the freest creature in the world.
He’s not dependent of nothing except of his clients, his colleagues, judge and of the High Court...!
Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were.
"Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated.
"Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?"
"Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"
Q: How many lawyers does it take to build a wall?
A: Depends on how deep you stack them.
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach?
Cats keep covering them with sand.
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
Why don’t lawyers enjoy fishing?
Because it’s too much like work, what with all the lying involved.
Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency.
To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office:
Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000.
With all these, you never made a donation to the charity...
If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds?
No... answers mayor.
In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind.
The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted:
And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans.
Stunned, the mayor says:
I didn’t know, please accept my apologies...
But the lawyer continues:
I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...