Joke #3866

There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.

Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.

What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.

Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet? It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.

Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.

Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"

Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look." He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

Is your goalmouth open? High five!