There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team.
They drowned during spring training.
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Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later.
The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill?
Because he made to many calls!
I play the worlds most dangerous sport.
I disagree with my wife.
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox."
"Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby.
If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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