Why are old socks good for golf?
Because they have eighteen holes.
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Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.
Four men were stranded in a desert.
Suddenly, 1 of them died.
The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.
The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver."
The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest."
The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"
Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Two alpinists on a mountain:
One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one:
Are you hurt?
Noooooo! He hears.
How come?
I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.