Joke #4233

Why are old socks good for golf? Because they have eighteen holes.

Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.

In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England." "Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery. Can you tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replies. "About three minutes ago."

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts" was a basketball team.

"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."

Michael was watching the derby game between Manchester United and Liverpool; Old Trafford was packed and there was only one empty seat – next to Michael. ‘Who does that seat belong to?’ asked the person in the next seat. ‘My wife usually sits there.’ Michael replied. ‘But why isn’t she here?’ the neighbor persisted ‘She died.’ Said Michael in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘So why didn’t you give the ticket to one of your friends?’ ‘They’ve all gone to the funeral.’ said Michael.

Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!

There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place? Well, it could have been worse. How? There could have been more teams in the league!

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"