Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture.
And Won.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
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Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
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You don't leave a room, Chuck Norris throws you out.
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Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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