Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate.
It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
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Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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