Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.