Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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Devil stays in hell because he knows Chuck is around, here on earth.
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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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