Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
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Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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