Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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