Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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How did Stella get her groove back?
Permission from Chuck Norris.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
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Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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