Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.