Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.