Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
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Chuck Norris can "make it rain in Southern California".
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