Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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If Chuck Norris were to ever bungee jump, the earth would flinch.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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