Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M's factory?
A: She threw away all of the "W's".
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How do you kill a blonde with one arm?
You wave to her.
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired.
They are each assigned a section of the road.
The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1.
On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5.
On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5.
The manager decides to talk to the blonde.
"You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said.
"What's the problem?"
"I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle
Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
Q: Why is it OK for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house.
They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says,
"Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two.
One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!