Joke #3019

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early sir", replied the defendant. "Well that's not an crime", said the judge! "How early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened", answered the prisoner.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
The town’s local council remarks that the best lawyer in town never made a donation to charity tendency. To convince him, the mayor calls him in his office: Sir, I remarked that you’re revenue reached a number of $600.000. With all these, you never made a donation to the charity... If you looked into my files, did you also remark that my mother is sick, and the medicaments she needs exceed her funds? No... answers mayor. In second place, my brother, war veteran, is condemned in a wheelchair and he’s blind. The mayor started apologizing, but was interrupted: And more, my sister died into a car accident and left tree children orphans. Stunned, the mayor says: I didn’t know, please accept my apologies... But the lawyer continues: I don’t see why I should give you any money, if I don’t ever give them money...
Vote:
has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: health, kids, lawyer, money
A: What's the difference between a lawyer and an undertaker? B: A Lawyer doesn't mind getting his hands dirty while burying his victims.
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Vote:
has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine? Only one if you run him through slowly!
Vote:
has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Lawyer was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."
Vote:
has 83.35 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
Vote:
has 16.16 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, wife
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Vote:
has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer