Joke #3196

What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men

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A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
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has 13.47 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: gym, men, teacher, time
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: men
What's the biggest difference between men and women ? Men are crabby all month long.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
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has 69.05 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: men
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, men