Joke #3196

What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Vote: has 47.97 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, men
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, men, women
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, health, husband, men
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, work
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men, women
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
Vote: has 84.34 % from 118 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, disgusting, dog, men, music