What is a man's definition of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
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Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote:
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
