Joke #3196

What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men, women
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
This french guy he wants to learn English. So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off". Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra". Then he goes to the hospital "baby" So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hunting, men
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
Vote: has 74.27 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Vote: has 70.32 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, men, women