Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
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A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay?
"Brace yourself, Sheila."
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.