All the bases are 90 feet apart in regulation Baseball.
So why does it take a Runner longer to run from 2nd to 3rd than it does from 1st to 2nd?
Simple! Because between 2nd and 3rd there is a 'Short-Stop'!
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Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there."
He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there."
He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?"
"No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do.
I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV.
That's until they throw me out of Applebees."
Dave Letterman
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place?
Well, it could have been worse.
How?
There could have been more teams in the league!
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment.
They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"
In France, Chuck Norris accidentally won Tour de France by exercise bike.
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What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day.
The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.
Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.