Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris named his parents.
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Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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