Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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