Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
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Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
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