Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine.
Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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