Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris would have attacked the Death Star with the Shield Generator still up.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.