Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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