Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.