Joke #5797

Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
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Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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Chuck Norris can land a multi-hit combo with only one punch.
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Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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