When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
The facts on this website are Chuck Norris' smallest acheivements. If you knew what he was really capable of, you would never sleep at night.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.