When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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Chuck Norris once joined the Army.
That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard.
There is only another fist.
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