When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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