When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver.
When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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