When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president.
If you’re thinking to yourself, “But Chuck Norris isn’t black”, then you are dead wrong.
And stop being a racist.
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Chuck Norris knows who A is.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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