When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world.
The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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