When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Chuck Norris made time wait.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse. He uses a lion.
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.