When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
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Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
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Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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