When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails.
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Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
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Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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Two halves make a whole.
Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water...
That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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