When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays.
Happy Chuckday everyone!
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Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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The pouch respects Chuck Norris.
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