When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Chuck Norris was a pokemon card, until they took it out of the market cause the Chuck Norris card was level infinity.