Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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Aliens DO indeed exist.
They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
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