Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT. He got a perfect score.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.
Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.