Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
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Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines.
They have footprints.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
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When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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