Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
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Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
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Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
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