Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.
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