Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding.
Chuck gave him a warning.
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