Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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