Joke #3396

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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has 48.11 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
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has 70.85 % from 536 votes. More jokes about: animal, Facebook, technology
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
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has 84.76 % from 932 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, death, time
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, technology
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris