How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
You hold his nose!
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A woman gets onto a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.
Ugh!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says, "There's no call for that.
You go right up there and tell him off.
Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?
A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather.
A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind?
A: A maybe.
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill
A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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