Joke #3396

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter? He didn't have the hare fare.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, easter
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, golf, life, work
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he ot it. He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in. “OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. “Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked. “YES, YES, YES!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy. “Good!” said the first bat, “Because I fucking didn’t!”
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
Vote: has 74.63 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
Q:Why did the cow cross the road? A:To go to the moo-vies.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, science