Joke #3396

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!
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Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Q. How does a frog confuse you? A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane? A dandy lion.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."
Vote: has 78.15 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
Vote: has 78.51 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
Vote: has 70.72 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

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