Joke #5392

A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men

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One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one. J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one. S: And what cans will you shoot at? J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
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has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: men
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?" "Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
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has 81.66 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: health, men, military, navy
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
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has 80.65 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, genie, men, money
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: gay, men, relationship
How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!" A second man walks into the same bar. You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men