A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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Genie: I will grant you two wishes.
Guy: two? It's always three, right?
Genie: look at your crotch.
Guy: Damn, that's a huge dick that I have now.
Genie: I've been doing this for centuries. I know my business.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.”
Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery.
I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid.
”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”.
”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.