What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
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A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper.
The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.
"Where were you? I was worried sick."
"It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them.
One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up."
When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress."
The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry them up."
He came back and said: "We both have the same problem.”
There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team.
They drowned during spring training.
Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call.
Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife."
Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him."
Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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You know who's mad at Kobe?
Every other player in the NBA.
You know why?
Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring.
Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum.
Cause you know how women are, man.
Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"