What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common?
They both change their pads after 3 periods.
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Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
How about we march into your red zone and I'll split the uprights?
High five!
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
"To get his Quarter back."
I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because you dribble on the floor!
Q: What do you get if you cross a football team with a flower center?
A: Nottingham forest.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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