Joke #4085

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!

Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class? A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.

Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.

Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?" Will: "I don't know." Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"

Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call. Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife." Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him." Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"

There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website? Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.

Did you hear about the small golf course? You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.

The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Shimon Peres, the former leader of Israel. "Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Peres wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life. "Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Jack Nicklaus. We'll make him a Cardinal, he can play Shimon Peres... We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made and, of course, Jack was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Nicklaus. "Second?!!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Shimon Peres?!!" "No," said Nicklaus, "second to Rabbi Woods."

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.

Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.